At the Burrell-Howard wedding, Pat and Ryan prepared to join their separate flames into an eternal, unity flame.

Howard: "Man, those Backstreet Boys suck about as much as my hititng".

In retrospect having Tim Allen handel the pre game fire works was a bad Idea

I thought this was the World Series, not a Rammstein concert!

Howard: Dude did you bring the Brats

Burell: No the ghost of Dick Stockton robbed me outside the Stop and Shop

Hey pat, utley and hammels are taking this farting contest to a whole new level

If the Backstreet Boys don't hurry up with this anthem we will never be able to beat the crowds at Waffle House.

Burrell: "And so I told my cousin I wouldn't be caught dead at a Great White concert."

...all this for the Backstreet Boys? Really?

Burrell: If they play "Larger Than Life", I'm going to lose it!

Before Wednesday's Game 1, Satan stopped by to finalize two contracts. Fear not Philadelphia, your sacraficial lambs have been delivered for the good of everyone...

Wow. Pyrotechnics, cowbells, and washed-up bands. Throw in a mid-inning sumo-suit wrestling contest and we'll have ourselves a bon-a-fide AAA game.

"Is that Hank Steinbrenner's head exploding because the Rays are in the World Series."

Not pictured: Eric Bruntlett and Pedro Feliz

Ladies and Gentlemen, for your seventh inning stretch entertainment, the National Baseketball League is proud to present a salute to our South Sea neighbors, Viva Calypso!

"Think we can sneak out of here and get one of those Subway Philly Cheesesteaks?"

"I don't really feel like hitting today."
"Yeah, me neither."

Burrell: "Lightweights. The Volcano Taco wasn't that hot."

It looks like it burns when you pee too!

"I suppose it makes sense that there are flames before the Backstreet Boys come out..."

Man, we're not gonna come this close to a heater again tonight.

Burrell: "Well, Ryan... I suppose you can't really blame the stadium management for scheduling the moster truck rally for the same day as the first game of the World Series. Who knew?"

Kum by Yah, my Lord.
Kum by Yah.

Dude, they should NOT have had Spinal Tap sing the national anthem!!!

Burrell: I haven't seen something go up in flames like that since the '07 Mets.

Howard: Except maybe the '08 Mets.

Man... I didn't expect Craig Sager's suit to go up that fast...

PB: Duuuuuude, it burns so bad when I pee.

RH: Shuddup, burns here too, but at least your's is coming out straight.

BOTH: Gotta stay out of Foxy's Showbar

I can't believe Ray Liotta and Gary Coleman are dressed like Phillies

"Ebony and ivory, live together in perfect harmony"

...pick up sticks...

RH: If I didn't lean to the left this would've been so awesome.

Burrell: "I'm Pat S. Burrell, Esquire!"
Howard: "And I'm Ryan 'Theodore' Howard!"
Both: "And we are... WYLD STALLYNS!"

Next season the Phillies will wear letters instead of numbers on their backs in the continuing effort to educate their loyal Fans.

Burrell: What are the flames for?

Howard: FOX's chance of good ratings for this World Series is the flame on the left, their crappy fall lineup is on the right.

5+6=56, The hit streak for Joe DiMaggio, but also coincidently the number of combined playoff strikeouts between Burrell and Howard.

Aren't they suppose to wait until after the World Series to start burning the city down.

Okay, who farted?

I didn't know it was coach's birthday. He'd better hurry up and blow out those candles or McCarver will start explaining the ground rules when Catwalk A catches on fire.

Tropicana Field......drink it in boys.

Shit bro, is that the Undertaker's music?

I told you there were a couple of flamers in the Backstreet Boys.

Burrell & Howard: "I'm A Firestarter...A Wicked Firestarter."

"My name is Pat Burrell, he's Ryan Howard, and we spit hot fire!"

Rays appointed 10th man, Brian "Nasty Boy" Knobs, lights a couple of farts during the pregame festivities.

Ryan Howard to Pat Burrell: "Man, I knew Dick Vitale and Tim McCarver were full of hot air, but who would have ever thought their heads would just combust into natural gas streams one day?"

...then Howard said, "Yeah, it's deep too!"

You should have gotten that picture of Buck and McCarver in the booth in the 9th inning of game 1. Buck looked bored as hell.

Is VERY bad to drink Jobu's rum!

I'm so excited! I'm so... scared....

Pat: Rocco said that Navarro was providing the tabasco sauce for the clubhouse buffet.

Pat: Bought Time they lit those backstreet boys on fire.

The danger of multiple free tacos from Taco Bell and one carelessly thrown cigarette.

Guys, this is no time for your James Hetfield impressions!